A few weeks ago we decided that Mia could no longer come the the worship service with us anymore. As much as we like to hear her talk and cheer and clap and sing, babble, blow raspberries and straight out scream, we would just rather not have these activities occur during the worship service. So, a few weeks ago we decided that Mia would go to the nursery during the worship service but would still come to Sunday School with us. So, this was the first week we ever put Mia in the Nursery and this was the first time we EVER left Mia since Gotcha Day. If we have a date night, we have a little tag along. If we go anywhere, Mia comes. But, recently we have been thinking that we need to start leaving her for short periods of time just to get her use to it and knowing that KEV AND I HAVE TO HAVE SOME TIME ALONE!!! So, this was our first experience and it went-- OK.
So, I went into the Nursery while Kev filled out the paperwork. I put her in the creepers room and she immediately started playing with the toys (she loved a baby doll). She seemed to do great so I quietly left her and off to the service Kevin and I went. We enjoyed the worship and we made it about half way through the message when our pager (see picture) went off. OK, she made it 35 minutes so that's OK- right?? I went to the nursery to see what happened and there Mia was being walked by the director of the Nursery (the same lady who use to walk Ethan and Owen when they cried) and crying. She said that Mia had pooped and they changed her diaper and she was a little fussy and then she started crying and would not stop. I instructed them to page me if she was inconsolable but if she was just fussy to let her fuss a bit. So, I grabbed my little MiPi and we hung out until the service was over.
So, for the first time ever being without Kevin or I, I think she did OK-- right?? It was hard to do and I was a bit nervous, but she did OK-- 35 min is better than nothing. Next week hopefully she will last a little longer and then the next week longer and so on. We need to leave her so Kev and I can have a date night but I am really nervous about that. Anyone have any suggestions?? I know we need to do it but I just envision her waking up and not seeing Kev or my face and being confused. It worries me but she has been home over 4 months so I think we need to start leaving her for the good of her as well as for the good of us. So, what do you guys think? How can I go about doing it? Is it too soon? I just don't know-- uggg!! This is way harder than I thought and much harder than it was for my boy-- WOW!!!
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no advice here, I am terrible at leaving mine. Just wanted to say I think she did great that 35 min sound like a geat starting point. And she is super cute in her Sunady dress! :)
ReplyDeleteMia did great for her first time. I think you're right at letting her go. How else is she going to know that you'll come back...unless you leave her. It's part of growing and it's better that she learn it now...and that you guys don't give in. We're dealing with that with Sadie now. Sadie went to kids church her second Sunday...but wants to stay with us since. We haven't pushed it too much because our church is starting a satelite church closer to our home. First Sunday at the new location is next week. We'll start really insisting on it then. They've got to see us leave and come back to trust we'll come back. Mia will be just fine...and eventually she'll love it!! I think you're doing great!!! You and Kevin definitely need to make sure you have that time. Mark and I are SO there with you right now! We'll pray for you next Sunday! Let us know how it goes!!
ReplyDeleteBuffi
I don't think it is to soon.. Hope not.. because I am going to have to go back to work at 4 months.. that is the longest I can stretch out my leave..so I will be watching for comments.. someday I will need help too.
ReplyDeletebut to me it sounds like she did very well..
Thank you for your prayers... my grandfather is dancing in heaven..
It is just hard..I need to stay busy..
Take care
Kim
Oh by the way...
Mia is adorable.. (like you didn't know that... i just had to say it)
I think Mia did great for the first time. I would try her again next week and see how it goes. A little bit every week is what we did. I always tell Joleigh, "Mama will be back soon" and now she waves bye and tells me bye and goes to playing and when I go and pick her up from the nursery, she is happy to see me. Joleigh recently started screaming and hollaring when we got to church and it is because she is so excited to go and learn about "Jesus loves me" as she says.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up, it make take her a little bit, but eventually she'll be waving bye to you and loving her time in the nursery.
Mendy
dd Joleigh (a. 11-21-06 Guangxi)
What you didn't say is how Mom did! Did you hear a word the preacher said, or were you staring at the beeper the whole time? :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like she did well. I would say to her around home, Mommy be right back, when you go to throw a load of laundry in or something like that (our of her sight for just a couple minutes), and then come back to her. She'll see that when you say "I'll be back" you will. I would not sneak out on her, hoping she doesn't notice you're gone, that could really scare her. I think she'll learn that "mommy will be back in a little bit", or "Mommy will be right back" if you always tell her, and then do it (which of course you will!)
ReplyDeleteShe's such a cutie!
Hey Christy -
ReplyDeleteOkay haven't braved a nursery yet and can't even find a new church because I don't want to put Hannah in a nursery (my issue, not hers), but I think Mia did amazing! She stays for short periods of time (2-4 hours!!! with my mom) when I work. But that has been it and honestly, I do think I need to branch out for her sake. Oh the tears, mine, of course!
She is so incredibly cute - I love visiting, just haven't commented everytime (time factor:-)
Yup, I love the dress too - nothing like dressing a little girl for church - FUN!
Heather
Looks like Mia LOVED Sunday preschool! Cute pics! I so can't wait to dress a sweet girl for Sunday preschool!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the info on the way cute outfit! That day I saw you and Liala I actually went in there and went nuts! Now I know what my first stop will be on my trip down in a few weeks. :)
She is just so cute! Each time she goes to the church nursery, she will get a little more comfortable. There will be good days and bad days. She must have been the cutest one there though.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your ideas. I know it will get easier in time and she will adjust but it is hard. And to answer the question-- how did mommy do-- well, I really have no idea what the service was about and I was just staring at the card and the pager the whole time. A little hard to leave my baby!! I will keep working on it and I really need to find a day to day babysitter so Kev and I can have a date-- we so badly need one-- cant really remember the last time we had any type of meaningful conversation-- uggg!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks again for your support!!
Christy :)
Hello Christy,
ReplyDeleteSorry for my english, I'm french speaking.I have just attended a conference on the subject and he said to us that the first 3 months, the parents have to stay home with baby. No country house, no trip.The 3 following months the parents should not leave on a journey without the child. The baby can stay with a person he known as his grandmamma for very short period in home's baby and never leave when the child plays and does not realize of the departure. It is necessary to say to the child whom we leave and who we will return. After 6 months after the arrival of the baby at your home, the parents should not leave more than 4 days. I hope that this will help you.
Danielle
We don't leave our girls too often unless it's with Mai. The only time we've left them with someone they didn't know was last New Year's Eve last year and it was with our neighbor. Of course we didn't leave until the babies were a sleep. So in reality they didn't even know we were gone. I know I will be a nervous wreck the first time I have to leave them with someone other than Mai. She is like family to us.
ReplyDeleteOur daughter was much older when we got home (2.5 years) and they still called us out of services the first THREE times we left her -- she was inconsolable. Then, we took her last week, and she walked in like she owned the place. For us, fourth time's the charm.
ReplyDeleteDo any of the nursery workers babysit? Maybe you could pay them to come watch her while you're still home, doing laundry or something so you're in and out of the room, and then she'd have a friendly face on Sunday that she knew from home?
Good luck, you DO need this and she CAN do it (Mom of 4 talkin' here)...
When Caroline came home at 1 year old, she was so afraid of strangers that for the first month, I would be in the nursery with her. Then the next month, I went in with her, but would wander in and out. Then eventually, we could leave her, but had the pager and would sit in the back in case they paged us (and they did). After about 3 months, she was able to handle it on her own.
ReplyDeleteMia will be different because she did not seem to have the trauma that Caroline did. The fact that she handled 35 minutes is good. Just make sure they have a bottle for her in case the reason she is crying is hunger.
Sounds like you are all handling it well.
Teresa