Thursday, September 4, 2008

Terrible Almost Two????

OK, I am at work but just had to post. I'm sorry it is not a picture post but please forgive me. Anyway, what is up with my little Miss Mia? She has never been the quiet little girl who will sit for hours and play with her little tea set-- Oh no, she is a rough and tumble little independent girl that will climb the big play sets just like her brothers. Yes she likes to color and has held a pencil correctly since 18 months (that's just when I noticed it) but overall she is a very active little girl. I get people commenting all the time that she is "busy" or "active" and I could not agree more. She also is not the quiet little thing she looks like. She is tiny and sweet and cute but man can that girl scream. She is loud loud loud!!! So loud that she will hurt-- really I'm not exaggerating-- HURT your ears. Now I am not the quietest person in the world but wow can my girl scream!!!! Anyway, my active little girl is 22 months and is entering the terrible 2's with a vengeance!!

Let me start by saying my boys were challenging in ways but overall they did not tantrum. My nieces tantrumed but my own boys would get mad, yell maybe hit or kick and then it was done. They did not fuss much and were not tantrumers at all. I was warned that girls tantrum and that they are drama queens. I thought-- oh sure-- it really matters how you parent them (like I am so high and mighty). I have now learned the following 1. I know nothing about parenting and 2. GIRLS TANTRUM AND ARE TOTAL DRAMA QUEENS!!!!! It is in their blood-- totally inherent with in girls!!! I just cant believe, in the last month or so, how much Mia has started the tantrum/ drama thing. She is just a total drama queen and everything is HUGE and every time I don't give her what she wants or I take something away from her she tantrums like I have never seen. Luckily her tantrums don't last too long (a few minutes) but holy cow-- she just pitches a fit!!! Literally she will be as happy as can be and she will say "mama gummies peezzz" and I will say not now (since she just finished 2 packages of them 10 minutes earlier) and she will toss her head back shaking it vigorously and start screaming. Her limbs will begin to flail and if on the ground she will flop around like a dying fish and if we are out and about she will do the same in a shopping cart. She screams like you are murdering her and like I mentioned before-- she is LOUD!!!!! I have chosen to deal with this behaviour by completely ignoring it. If at home I will walk away and let her throw her fit by herself. If we are out and about I just ignore her the best I can. I do get looks here and there but I just smile at whoever is looking at my screaming flopping Asian child that they assume I must be abducting. I have not had any comments other than "wow can she scream" but overall I try to just ignore the behavior. It has helped some-- mostly at home-- but in some ways it just pisses her off more-- especially when we are out and about. She gets so pissed but I try to just ignore her and continue my shopping. I will not give in but wow can I see how some parent crumble under the stress. I swear it is all I can do not to walk away from the cart and tell the lady looking on disapprovingly that she just inherited a daughter. Man is it challenging but luckily she eventually snaps out of it and returns to the cute little girl I have grown accustom to-- not the screaming flailing demon possessed little child flopping around.

So, my question is, is this normal?? I think it is and others I have talked to about this says it is totally normal but I always question. Yes I was warned but holy cow I didn't expect this!! Anyway, how long does this last? Hopefully not long but as strong willed as my daughter is, I'm guessing it will be here for a while. Oh ya, another thing I forgot to mention is how she has become a brat to her brothers-- or one brother in particular. With Ethan (the oldest- now 10) she goes to him and snuggles and he treats her wonderfully-- like a little daddy. With Owen (8) she gives him dirty looks (I swear she does-- it is sooo funny) and if he tries to touch her she will scream at him. When did she become such a brat?? I swear I have not encouraged this behavior. In fact when she does those things I have begun to discipline her (time outs) but what the heck is up with that? She is just acting like a little brat!!! Ugggg!!!! Oh the challenges of a toddler!!! What to do?????

Thanks for letting me vent and sorry about no pictures but I will post some tomorrow!!


  1. sounds like a normal girl to me. Glenys can get into meltdown mode in 0.2 secs flat. Yes the drama is everywhere with girls or most girls.

  2. Oh my friend, I have been there done that and YES it is totally normal!!! You are a good mom and you have a 22 month old who's hard sometimes, but totally normal.

    My Ellie is a TOTAL drama queen still and she will be 5 next month. If she stubs her toe it's about 5-10 minutes of crying and drama and if my son did it there would be no drama. Usually, if she isn't hurt, I'll just tell her to "shake it off" and try to ignore it. Isn't parenting fun? UHG!

    I think ignoring her tantrums is the best thing for you and for her. Did you ever see the episode on America's Funniest VIdeo's where a little boy falls on the floor into a big tantrum, the mom goes into the next room, he calmly gets up, follows her into the next room, and starts to tantrum again? He does it like 4 times, it was hilarious!

    Anyway, hang in there my friend, boy's and girls are so different and 22 months is such a hard age...but thank God that they are so cute at that age too! ha!

    Sorry for the long response! Take care! Lisa

  3. First, my boys never did the screaming thing either and I hope it's normal for girls because you just described my sweet little Lily!!!! LOL

  4. Rowan is doing to exact same thing. She flails, screams, tears streaming, and even hits her brothers when she is not getting what she wants. I have been doing time-outs and making her give hugs and say sorry for the hitting. She seeems to get it and now when she acts up I say do you want a time-out and she says no and usually snaps out of it. I also do alot of the ignoring of the tantrum. I agree girls are SOOO different. The boys did what you described. I have to say it is important your boys tell you if she's being nasty so you can address it. Mine were just giving in and it was creating a monster. I'm sure these times will pass. THese girls are very strong willed though and it takes ALOT of persistence. Hang in there, we're with you in Illinois dealing with the same.

  5. Okay.. first off.. I will forgive you for not posting pictures of the SWEETEST Little girl around..
    I could never see Little Mia doing things like that..
    Now for the realness.. Girls are like that .. it is normal..
    KyLee used to scream and then hold her breathe till she would almost pass out..
    I was sooo scared at first.. then I asked the doctor and they said.. no big deal.. spray a little water in her face.. she will stop..
    Oh yeah..
    She stopped after a couple times of
    As they get older they tend to do other things..
    You are doing the right thing by letting her scream it out..
    HUGS girly.
    ANd by the way..
    Great clippies.. I ordered some. and she was soooo fast to respond..
    Can't wait till tomorrow for those great pictures..

  6. LOL
    This was one of my favorite post that you did as Mia is just to darn CUTE and I guess she is just as Naughty!!!
    I have 2 boys and my sister has 2 girls and I have said MANY a times "Thank you Lord for giving me BOYS!!!".

  7. Well, I hate to tell you this, but it ONLY gets more interesting as they continue to get older.

    Mine screams like a banshee! She's only a little older than Mia (mine is 2.3 years old) but my goodness, if anyone heard those screams on the street, they'd think I was murdering her, for heaven's sake. And can she make it last for EVER??

    I too have started to give her short time outs. Now it stops her cold when I ask her if she'd like a time out. Heh!

    My 7 year old dd continues to occasionally be a DQ. Drama Queen. Oy.

    Hang in there.

    dd Sunshine 7 Viet Nam
    dd Brilliance 2 China

  8. Hmm...what she has in naughtiness is made up for by her cuteness?? right?

  9. Uh, yep!
    With Peter, he had maybe 2 tantrums that I can recall and in both cases, it was over in a few minutes since I completely ignored it.

    Caroline, however, had a SCREAMING hissy fit in Albertsons (fortunately not the one I regularly shop) for 45 MINUTES, yes 45 MINUTES. I had store employees tell me to hang in there and then 10 minutes later try to offer her some cake (Yeah, right! Like I would let THAT happen!) I had people cuss me out from 5 feet away (cowards!) and then one mom with her teenage daughter said, "Now THAT's a mom! I could have left lipstick kisses all over her face for that compliment!

    I got MYSELF some candy (when Caroline asked which one she could have I told her, "None because you screamed and made all these people unhappy. Maybe next time if you behave you can have one" She got the point.

    I then apologized to the store manager and I won't be returning to that store until she is in college.

    By the way, I would have taken her out of the store earlier, but I backed myself into a corner by telling her we weren't moving until she told me what I needed to hear (and I told her exactly what I needed to hear - won't go into the whole story). Lesson learned, never limit my ability to move her away from the situation. I also did not think she would scream off and on for 45 minutes!

    Girls are SOOOOOO different than boys! I too thought I was a good parent until Caroline!

    Spicy Hunan girls, gotta love 'em!


  10. OH I TOTALLY believe it's normal! Even though it's a pain and isn't good and HAS to be's a normal phase. Also...I believe there is something to the timing of us having been home a little over a year now. Sadie has begun to REALLY push limits now...A LOT!! She is showing defiant behavior...big time. While I do believe part of it is normal...I also believe part of it is Sadie showing her TRUE self. Not that she hasn't....but for a while...things are still new....but now...we're old hat...she's comfortable with us and it gonna totally let it all hang out! I think you're handling it fine. I love your carefree attitude about it though because we spank when Sadie pitches fits. We don't allow it. She can be upset and not happy...but she cannot pitch it. But...different people respond different ways and I believe you are doing just fine! You know what she responds to and what she doesn't. You're doing just fine!!! Hang in there. The terrible, dramatic two's of a little girl...WILL PASS!!! Have a great weekend!!

  11. Hi CHristy,
    Nice to 'meet' you!! You have a beautiful family. I used to live in OC and went to the irvine Gymboree. Do you know if it's still there?

    We have had to do a few time ins and say you must be nice with a smile. Bailey seems to respond really well so far. Different baby every day! hahah
    take care and dont worry, with such a great family it will all pass.

  12. I think you have a very normal little girl there. I too had to laugh becuase she is just too sweet and adorable looking to act like that..but then again that is what my mom says to me when I complain about my bratty, smart mouth boy! LOL Just wait till she talks more and starts to tell you off!

  13. Yep....totally normal. At least this is what our world has been. And, I'm sorry to say, but the twos just get you warmed up. Prepare yourself for 3. That was the HARDEST age for us. 4 was much better, and 5 has been fine. Oh my friend, I soooo know where you are.Be consistent, hold your ground. It will be worth it.

  14. I guess both Mias are going through this. Big Mia is really pushing her limits these days. For me 3 was worse but it depends on the kid. Mia is so defiant these days and tells me she is NOT happy with me. She really says it like it is. She does just the opposite of what we ask and time outs are no longer working. All I can say is make sure you have time away for sanity sake!



  15. Hey Christy, you must have forgot how your boy were after all these years., although it is tough when it is a sweet adorable "girl"??
    Did you ever think that maybe it is because the boys are at school and she is alone now with the dogs and you??You all have had such a BUSY summer and now that she has your attention alone, she is testing you? Do I sound like a grandma, Alis Mom!!! Good luck.
    If you tire of her, we are waiting for a little girl, and we would be happy to have her?? HAHA Arlene

  16. Hey Christy, you must have forgot how your boy were after all these years., although it is tough when it is a sweet adorable "girl"??
    Did you ever think that maybe it is because the boys are at school and she is alone now with the dogs and you??You all have had such a BUSY summer and now that she has your attention alone, she is testing you? Do I sound like a grandma, Alis Mom!!! Good luck.
    If you tire of her, we are waiting for a little girl, and we would be happy to have her?? HAHA Arlene

  17. Oh don't I know about this! And anyone who has met Kailee just can't believe that she could possibly have a meltdown. I was told the terrible twos start at 18 months! She doesn't do full on tantrums right now (knock wood) but she is constantly testing the limits...all the time. I almost think she enjoys the time outs!

  18. Anna Grace is going through the same thing! She is whiny ALL DAY most days! But some days she is the sweetest little girl in the world!

  19. WoW! Just catching up on your blog and now I feel a lot better! My Abby is doing exactly the same thing!

  20. Christy, You and Kevin are WONDERFUL parents! Mia is 100% two year old girl. Hopefully, some day you can look back on this period in her life and laugh about it! Sarah (Miss Olympian) was very much like Mia at her age.

  21. We have followed you all since you got Mia. We adopted from China July o7 and have a 10 yr old girl and 6 yr old boy, biological. They love to read your blog! Jaida loves my 10 yr old but is soooo mean to my 6 yr old! It kills me because he is so sweet to her and it hurts his feelings! We do the time out also. And boy does she scream!!! Maybe they had to be loud in the orphanage to be heard?? Blessings to you all! Amy