No Picture Post!!

Yes, I am at work (shame on me) and I do not have my camera to post any pics but I thought I would post a thought.

First off, any of you adoptive parents enjoy eavesdropping on conversations? I sure do. What I mean is that people do not associate Mia with me (white mom, Asian kid) so I get to hear what they say about Mia and they don't know I am mom so they speak freely. Most of the time I hear (not to brag but...) "Oh she is so cute", "she is so tiny", "what a doll" and so on. Sometimes I get to hear a little more and I LOVE IT!!! Let me preface this with I am a mom who likes to foster Independence and I am totally good with kids learning natural consequences of their actions. For example, when my boys were young I would tell them they should not climb on top of the play set. They whined and whined and I finally allowed them to and I warned them that if they fall off then they will get hurt. Sure enough, eventually they would fall off and get hurt but they would learn that if they are going to do something stupid, then they will suffer the natural consequence of their actions. I treat Mia the same way. Obviously I am not going to let her do something that is going to hurt her badly, but the small stuff is where I like them to learn their lessons. I am also not one of those moms that follow their kids around the playground to "make sure they are OK." I push Mia on the swings and I help her when needed but often I sit close by where she can see me at all times and come to me if needed (or I can go to her). OK so here is the fun eavesdropping part. The other day I was at our outdoor malls play area. My friend Laila and I were sitting there watching the kids play. A couple tables over there was an older couple with their grandchildren. Mia was being a little fussy as it was getting close to nap time but she was having fun. She would climb up the stairs and go down the slide totally on her own and we would all cheer her on. She would be running around and trip and then fuss a bit but then would just move on. Anyway, this couple was obviously watching Mia (how could you not-- she is just too cute not to :) and watching how independent she was being. They were also watching her fuss here and there with no mommy running to her side. All of a sudden the older woman says to her husband "Why is there no one attending to that little baby? Where is her mother? She is crying and no one is attending to her?" As she said this she rose up from her chair and was angrily looking around for Mia's mother. I stopped smiling and giggling to myself and then calmly and very nicely leaned over to the lady and said "I am not running over to her because we are trying to foster Independence and she is obviously just fussing and is fine so we do not want to encourage that behavior." The lady looked at me with absolute shock and embarrassment on her face. She stumbled over her words and said "Oh, umm, are you her mother?" I proudly smiled and said "yes." She said something to the extent of "Oh I didn't know you were her mother-- she is very cute and what a sweet girl." I politely said thank you and that was the end of it. I just thought it was so funny. I get that not every parent is as relaxed as me but I do laugh at some of the stuff I hear.

If you are an anxious or nervous parent I totally get that for your own peace of mind you need to be there with your kid at all times-- I get that and am fine with whatever. I am not that way. I totally have no issue with what I perceive as overprotective moms because I get that there are reasons they are that way-- good for them. But I do notice that overprotective moms have issues with moms like me. It is not as if my kids are swan diving off the play set and landing on their heads, but I am just not that "I cant leave the side of my kid" type mom. I laugh at how the other side (if you will) has total issues with moms like me. They often comment on how independent Mia is but you can tell it drives them nuts that Mia is playing independently and that I am not right there with her. I have had some comments that are not that nice but I just don't understand why they have such issues and why they feel like they need to voice their opinions. I often thank them for their input and inform them that I choose to parent my own way but I am never rude. It doesn't happen that often but enough that I thought I would post on it.

Anyway, I just thought this was a funny situation and possibly blogworthy :)

Any of you get to eavesdrop?