PERFECT PARENTING-- NOT!!!

I would love to say that life is always easy and that my children are perfect and do all they should and that Kevin and I are the patient loving parents who always put their childrens needs emotionally before ours-- but I am not a good liar. Now that the boys are back in school we are faced with the homework struggles and the organization struggles and the responsibility struggles. I have a tendency to try to bail the boys out if they get bogged down. For example, if they don't finish something I will get very mad and then dictate to them what to do to get it done. I will then proceed to force my hand in the pot and do much of it for them meanwhile letting them know each step of the way how angry I am that I am having to bail them out. Should I bail them out--- No way!!! Is it easier to bail them out instead of forcing them to do it on their own-- HECK YA!!!

So, last night we were faced with the responsibility struggle with my oldest. He is now a 4th grader and there are a lot of demands placed on 4th graders. He is also exceptionally social and wants desperately to play with his friends. So, I told him to do his homework before playing with friends and then he could read at night. Well, he said he did his homework but before dinner while I was checking I saw he had not done his spelling contract thing they have to do. He played it down but I was very frustrated. Now, I had Mia to feed, dinner to get on the table, the spelling contract, getting ready for bed and reading. I was not happy to say the least. I forced him to do the spelling contract but I was just mad the whole time. I was not the most loving mother to my son-- to say the least. We did dinner and he worked on the spelling after dinner and then finally finished and then, after many angry words were exchanged, I sent him to his room for bed (about 1 hour after his bedtime).

This morning he woke up very irritated because I was MAKING him read before he could watch TV. That attitude made me irritated and the words began to get more harsh. He did his reading and then watched TV and played with his friends before school but I had to leave early for work (I work Wednesday's and Thursday's) so I really didn't get to talk to him about last night and this morning. So, on my way to work, I called him before he walked to the bus and I told him how sorry I was for being so angry at him and that I was wrong and that I needed to control my anger. First thing he said was that he was sorry also and that he needs to work on responsibility and that he will do better. He also said he forgives me and that he hates when we argue. I told him I loved him and to have a good day and that was that.

It is just so amazing how forgiving our kids can be with us. Am I a perfect parent? NO WAY!!!! I am flawed in every way but one thing I always try to do is to tell my boys that I am sorry when I am wrong or when I act in an angry manner. It blows me away how things are just wiped away when you say a simple sorry (hmmm--- is this a model from somewhere else-- sins wiped away-- forgiven-- hmm???). I can tell you there are many things I have done wrong that are nowhere in my boys memory because I said sorry. I so appreciate that quality in children because let's face it--- NONE OF US ARE PERFECT PARENTS so this forgiveness thing really comes in handy!!!