Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Prayer needed for a friend

If you read the post below, you will know my blogger pal Christie is in Hunan China with her husband and new daughter, Kiera. Kiera is having some adjustment issues and it is really tough. Please read Christie's blog post from today and please keep them in your prayers.

Christie's blog post from today:

As many of you know, I absolutely refuse to sugar-coat. Sometimes, I try to give the good so that others won't worry. But now we need your prayers.We're dealing with a relapsive/remissive situation over here. Keira will be fine for a while - even laughing or cooing as some of you have seen on the video we posted, and then suddenly begin grieving terribly for a long period of hours.Yesterday was a great day, until around 5:00pm. Keira was doing so well...and then boom. Complete and utter regression. It was so sad. She screamed hysterically for almost three hours straight. She arcs her back away, won't let us touch her as much as possible, won't look at us. It certainly takes its toll... We're only human, we remind ourselves. It's hard and it's to be expected that we would be sad and even feel helpless and frustrated - but we've been beating ourselves up for feeling these things.This morning she was in the same place. Sad, removed, not making eye contact, not wanting to be held by either of us. Just wanting to be left alone. Which of course, we can't do.It's in these moments that the darkness is breathtaking. We would covet your prayers...Each child in our group of nine families is dealing with grief heavily. We are not alone. The most startling thing is that each of the children were clearly loved or cared for well. No one seems "tiny". No one seem underfed. No one seems under-loved. All good things, but the heartbreak of seeing them devastated over and over again as they come to terms with us - it's just sometimes more than we can bear.Last night, like "sun-downers" syndrome - fine during the day, huge regression at night - each of the children started to grieve. Several of us had to miss the group dinner, opting instead for quiet time at the hotel. Instead of quiet, there was the sound of grieved cries throughout the hallway of Floor 31 of the Dalton Hotel. Grieved, grieved cries... And not just those of the babies.The parents are hurting as well. Hurting because we hoped for the best and tried to prepare for the worst...but all the while assuming things would be fine and work themselves out with little to no issue. But in this situation, all of us are facing hard moments where the babies want nothing to do with us or cry and grieve so hard. It's heartbreaking as a parent. To be rejected on any level when you have so much love to give. I want you to know that this post is written honestly and from the heart. Not to be negative, but to be open. Not to discourage or cause worry, but to reach out. We're on the other side of the world and everything is different. We're navigating a huge life change, the deep grief of our new daughter, the trials of parenthood, and the challenges of travel all from the pocket of a small hotel room. Bear with us as we learn and grow...and give you truth through our posts. We need now more than ever, support and calming encouraging words from home.

With love and hope for continued healing and understanding,

Christie & Anton


  1. I'm praying for your friend. So sad and odd that they are all grieving so much.

  2. Keeping your friend and all the new families in my thoughts and prayers!


  3. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers! Also, remember tht you have had years to prepare for this child, physically and emotionally BUT this child has had no prep time for such a big change in her life. Everything has changed for her, it hurts and she is scared. All of her security is gone and she has no idea what will happen next. Imagine everything in your life gone, everyone and everything you know in your life (the confusion and frustration of not having any control), it would be a hard pill to swallow for an adult. The grief from most of the babies shows how much they were loved and it will probably gets worse before it gets better, but it will get better little by little. Just be there for her and do not let her be alone as you have to build a new trust for her, a new normal. The best of luck and just take each day at a time, it wil be 2 steps forward and 1 step back but there will be progress.

  4. I feel so bad for your friend and also for that scared little child. I can't imagine how hard it must be for everyone. They will get through it. Prayers headed their way.

  5. I agree wholeheartedly with the above anonymous post above. Lots of wisdom in those words. My family and I will keep all of the families in our daily prayers.

  6. I am praying for them right now and will continue to do so as I imagine this is utterly heartbreaking. The good news is that God is with them and that the grieving is actually quite healthy. It is a vital and necessary step in their attachment process. I know that does not make it easier for anyone involved and I am not trying to minimize how hard it is. Just trying to encourage that this is normal and healthy.

  7. Thanks friend - so sweet of you to extend a helping hand for us...