Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Emery Day 3 and 4

Sorry to be delayed in posting but we have just been losing track of time. When you have so much down time, it all kind of merges together and you forget to do things.

Yesterday we had our orphanage visit and it was exactly what I thought it would be-- not much. We stupidly did not check our camera before we left and we got 2 pictures into the tour and our camera died. I was so upset but our guide took a few pictures with his cell phone and he will email them to me. As soon as I get the emailed pictures, I will post them. The orphanage visit is something we always want to do with each girl. With Mia it didn't mean much since she was in foster care and didn't even live at the orphanage but we were happy we visited. With Finley it was huge! It was where she spent her whole life without us and we soaked up everything. That was a majorly important trip. With Emery, we thought it would be about the same as with Mia. She did live in the orphanage until she was 6 months old and then was transferred to foster care where she lived until we got her. I had heard very mixed reviews about Kunming and that they put on a "show" when you visit but that it is really not as great as they make it seem. Well, I'm not sure about the "show" since it was a man who literally just walked us around and told us next to nothing, but there was nothing showy about the visit at all. The orphanage houses a TON of kids who are under 6 months old and those with more severe special needs. We saw the room where Emery lived for the fist 6 months and it was cool to see that and we saw the nannies and one nanny remembered Emery and came and said hi and that was cool-- see pic below- but the rest of the nannies were emotionless and said they did not remember Emery. I was kind of ticked about that. None of them remembered her? I'm not sure if our guide was just saying that or if they even asked but they did not seem overly interested in her at all. We just kind of walked around and looked and no one said anything to us and when we asked a question it was just a simple-- oh they don't know-- or just a simple answer. Nothing special. We even saw the room where Emery supposedly spent the week before we got her when they moved her from foster to the orphanage again and the ladies who were in that room with a few other children said they didn't remember Emery. Seriously???? It's been 3 days at that point since she was living in that room and you don't remember her?? None of you?? I was annoyed by that and honestly, I just wanted to leave. We continued the "show" where they showed us the really cool therapy rooms where they supposedly did therapy with all the kids but the rooms looked untouched and empty with not a kid in sight. That is where I understand the  "show" comments we had heard. Yes, they have beautiful facilities and everything is very clean and well maintained and very pretty to look at, but it is quiet with no activity. Do any of these therapy rooms ever get used? I don't know-- really I don't. They showed us these cute classrooms where they supposedly work with some of the kids, but they too were empty-- pretty inside-- but empty and looked like there had not been a human in there for years. Again, it all looked nice and pretty but I think it was more of a show than an actual functioning facility. Yes, there were babies and kids there being taken care of but it seemed like more of a money maker with the whole international adoption opportunity. We pay the orphanage $5600 for raising Emery and we are happy to do that. Every orphanage receives $5600 US dollars for an international adoption. Let me tell you, that is a lot of money here in China so if you have a very large orphanage like Kunming doing a lot of international adoptions, you do the math. I'm not saying that to be negative but it was just the vibe we got from the orphanage that it was more of a - take care of the baby to get them off for adoption and move onto the next- kind of attitude. Do they take care of the kids? Yes. Are the kids getting their physical needs met? Yes. Should I just be happy with that? Yes and no. I just feel strange about this visit and I'm not sure what my issue is but many who visit Kunming express the same discontent. Like there was just something missing. Not sure what that was, but its just this odd feeling both Kevin and I have. At the very end of the tour a lady came and said hi who was a "therapist" that worked with Emery when she was living at the orphanage before she was moved to foster care. This lady was very nice and said she remembered Emery-- who knows if that was true-- but she made us feel good. Overall, the visit was good in the sense that we wanted to go there-- but nothing special and I have no special feeling in my heart about this place. Nothing like the love and gratitude I have for Finley's orphanage where they clearly loved and adored her- nothing like that. I just feel like it was a check off my list of things I wanted to do in China.

We then went to Emery's finding spot where she was left as a newborn. Our guide took some pictures and I am very happy we have that memory-- much more happy than the orphanage memories. I will post the pictures as soon as Eric emails them to me. Emery was left in a rich residential area in northern Kunming. It is mostly nicer apartment buildings around the area but there is a walk way where there are some shops running through the area and at the entrance to that walkway is a green grassy, plant area and that was where Emery was found. I am so glad we were able to see that place. It is very special to me to know that Emery's birth mom left her to be found. The finding ad we were given (when a baby is found they must run an ad in the newspaper indicating where she was found and a general description in an effort to find her parents) said that she was found with a note attached to her which would have been the only link between her birth parents and us but of course, when we asked about the note at the orphanage, we were told it did not exist and that the newspaper just said that but it was untrue-- really?? The newspaper just decided to write that one tidbit of info about Emery but not other babies-- really???? Ugggg!!! I was told we would get nothing from the orphanage but I had held out a bit of hope-- but of course I was not disappointed-- they were as useless as I had been told. Oh well, I am very happy I saw her finding spot.

The rest of the day we hung out and let Emery sleep. She is not sleeping very good at night. We were told by the orphanage (which we don't believe by the way) that she naps only once a day. She HAS to take 2 naps. She is rubbing her eyes and fussy at about 10:30am and then again at about 4pm. She clearly takes 2 naps but again, we were told only 1 so we started trying to follow that schedule until we realized it was not correct. We are trying to get her on a 11am and 4pm nap with bedtime around 9pm but she is fighting the going to sleep thing at night. She play and talks and wants to interact and entertain you. She makes kissy sounds and trys everything she can to get you to interact with her but we try to just lay there like we are asleep. Eventually, after quite a bit of time, she gives up and falls asleep. But, after about 6 hours of sleep she wakes up again happy and wants to play. We again ignore her and last night I think she fell back asleep eventually but I do know at one time I brought her to bed with us and she laid with us kicking and talking for a long time until she fell back asleep. Not sure what is up with the sleep but hopefully it will normalize eventually.

Her adjustment is going great! She is a happy baby loves to be held and to cuddle. She also loves to play just about anything. She is very good natured and is adjusting beautifully. She likes Kev and I alot and seems to have bonded well and is realizing we are primary care takers. She wont just go to others which is great but we know it will be while till she knows we are mom and dad. She seems to want me a bit more than Kevin, especially when she is tired or upset but overall she is bonding well with both of us.

She took her first bath last night and DID NOT like it. Not sure what the issue was but she did not like it and just wanted out.

Tomorrow we head to the airport around 3pm and at 5:20 we head to Guangzhou. We are SOOOOOOOOO ready to leave. We are ready for Guangzhou and the other families we know will be there. Guangzhou is where all American adoptions have to be finalized so if you are an American adopting, you will spend 1 week aprox in GZ, therefore, there are lots of adoptive families there and it is a place full of support. We also have been there 2 previous times so we know a lot of the restaurants and the sites and it feels more comfy. I cant wait to see some of my online friends and we are all meeting for dinner on Saturday night. Should be fun!!! We will be in GZ from Friday night to Wednesday night and at 9:30pm on Wednesday night we will fly direct GZ to LAX!!!

We already want to come home and miss the kids tremendously. It is a lot of down time just sitting around on these adoption trips and it makes you miss the chaos of home that much more. Of course we love the time to bond with Emery but we miss our kids sooo much! Speaking of the kids, my parents and Kevin's parents are splitting the weeks watching them and we have skyped every day and things are going great!!! The kids are busy and having fun and cant wait to meet their new sister. We cant wait to get home to introduce them!!!

Anyway, that is all for now. I will probably post one more time in Kunming but if not I will post when we get to GZ. Miss everyone tons and will post again soon!!!

Outside the orphanage before our camera  died

Inside the orphanage-- very pretty!

The one nice nanny who remembered Emery. She was very sweet and seemed to care about Emery.

The rest of the pictures will come from Eric's cell phone camera-- I'm sure they will be horrible quality but its all we will have. Sorry.

Back in the room

Bathtime-- she was ok at first but the second we tried to wash her-- she was not happy

Poor thing

All clean and ready for bedtime

And some video for your enjoyment. Nothing interesting but just some cuteness!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing


  1. Awww, she's such a petite little sweetie! It's been fun following your trip (again)! You guys were just a few days ahead of us back in 2007 with Mia (and our Sophie). We missed you by a day in GZ.

  2. I totally know how you feel about the orphanage tour. We felt the same way in Russia-they had just cleaned the section Jonathan had lived in & had obviously just put clean clothes & towels in his supposed locker & cubby for show. There were a few caregivers who knew him well & obviously loved him, but the rest were so emotionless. The whole bath thing...we went through that the first week. We figured he had been sponged bathed & not very often...the water on his head & sitting in water freaked him out, but now he loves it :) We can't wait for you guys to get home so we can see her!!!!

  3. she so sweet! Christi! I hate your orphanage experience was so disappointing and I hate to think of what the reality maybe for those kids :( try to enjoy your carefree days!

  4. She is just too cute!! Ya know at her age she is probably ready for one nap. it may make her sleep better at night.

  5. Just stumbled upon your blog. Our DD is from Kunming and when we adopted her at 9 months (back in 2007) she looked very similar to your little Emery. Congratulations on another beautiful daughter :)

  6. Hi Christy,
    I am finally catching up with your blog. Emery is so beutiful. How did I forgot to follow your blog. I need to add it to my list of blogs.
    Anyway I am not sure if you read my thoughts about Mei's orphanage. We were basically to.d not to visit, that they do not like it. Well we drove there at least to take pics of it and the finding place. Oh my - they saw us outside and the director had heated discussion with our guide. Of course we were told that everything is OK. So here is the thing, I felt like they are either witholding info from us or they just have no clue or care for the children. The day we got her they kept telling us she is not walking, well we put her down and she was running,not just walking. They sold us overpriced formula. I think they made like $50 US on it. We had hired someone to go in the SWI to take pictures of the file, than visit foster mom and take pics. Later on I learned that the SWI director has a friend who does this thing for money and not cheap. So my guess this brings some money in the pockets of the director instead of SWI. I just have weird feeiling about the SWI in all.
    I will catch up with the rest of your blog soon.
    Eva (EAT on RQ)