Monday, March 5, 2007

We were skipped :(

I am soooo sad and heartbroken to say that we did not get our referral today. For some strange reason that we don't know why, we were skipped. There are two families (us and another) that had the same log in date and we were to receive referrals at the same time. This is how it works in China. The other family received their referral but we did not. Being skipped is very rare and sometimes it is simply that your referral is in a different envelope and it shows up a day or two late or it could be that we will not get our referral till next month. I PRAY IT IS NOT THE LATTER! Whatever the case I am just a wreck and am heartbroken. Everyone wants to point to the bright side but I am just not ready for the bright side right now. Right now I am PISSED and very angry that this happened to us. We have waited 18 months when we were originally told that it would be a 6 month wait. We have been patient and I have sucked it up with thousands of people asking why we haven't got our baby, but now what am I supposed to say? "We were skipped" does not really explain much and again, people don't get it. I know it will get better but right now I am just so angry that this happened and I don't understand.

Our agency is contacting their person in China and she will be going to CCAA to try to get answers. I pray it is just a simple mix up and that our referral is on its way but if it is not, I have asked my agency to advocate for us and ask CCAA to make this right. I know you have to tread lightly with CCAA but other agencies in the past have asked CCAA to make an issue right and they have, so I have asked my agency to do the same. I do not want to wait another month. We were not asked questions in the review room (which is one reason why we would have been skipped) and we did not have any issues throughout this LONG process. We were squeaky clean and that is why this comes as such a surprise. So, our China facilitator is having their person in China check and I should hear something tomorrow hopefully. I just don't get this. There have been so many crappy things happening recently (Kevin's injury, death of friends) that this was the one light in this whole dark 2007 year. I know I am being dramatic and I know I will get over this, but right now I am playing victim and I am pissed.

I just pray that this whole thing will work its self out and that we have our referral VERY SOON!!

Sorry to all of you who were expecting to see our little Mia today. This SUCKS!!!!



  1. I am so sorry. How incredibly disappointing. I so hope you will get good news tomorrow. btw I am a complete stranger just got here via chinaadopt.

  2. Christy,

    You have all rights to be pissed right now. I'm angry for you too! I hate this for you & your family. I pray this will get resolved tomorrow. I've checked in all day. This does suck... the wait...the rollercoaster..the unanswered questions. Soon this will be behind you & all of us.

  3. This does SUCK and I am soooo sorry! I know how excited and anxious you have been. There has to be an explanation. Please keep all of us (your Oct family) posted. I am praying for you!

  4. Christy, you don't know me but my heart is aching for you right now.

    How bitterly dissapointing to come all this way and then have your worst nightmare come true.

    You are most definately not 'playing the victim', you have every right to be angry and hurt and heart broken and you should kick and scream and cry as much as you like.

    I am praying that this gets resolved as soon as possible and that you don't have to wait another month to receive your referral - you have waited long enough.

    Please know that there are many out there thinking of you and praying for you.

  5. I remember meeting you 18 months ago at the picnic and being excited for you all along this LONG journey and I am also angry and disappointed for you. As someone who has held 2 babies and had to give them back, China was a good option for us(can you tell I'm still a bit bitter about it?). There are no good words to say and no amount of comfort we can give you, but we are praying.

    Man, that really stinks! Go ahead and be angry all you want, No one here will tell you otherwise.


  6. I'm sorry to hear this. You have every right to be angry. What a tremendous let down. I hope you hear good news tomorrow and this gets straightened out quickly.

    I'm waiting for a Mia of my own. But have a very long wait ahead.
    LID 6-14-06

  7. Christy,

    I was so devastated to learn that you were skipped this month. I wanted us to be able to share our Mias.

    I have heard of incidents with misplaced paperwork or second sets of referrals going out, so I am not giving up hope that you will see your referral this month.

    I'll keep checking your blog.


  8. This does just plain suck. I'm on the Oct. board and couldn't believe that you were skipped. It just doesn't seem fair. I do remember last month a family that was skipped but the referral showed up later in the week. I so hope this is the case for you and that you get some answers soon. Thinking of you and sending prayers your way.

  9. Well, I do know that Sabrina will do all she can to find out what happened and will definitely do all she can to go to bat for you.


  10. Christy,

    I only know of you from RQ, but I love your website - you are such a handsome family. I too am just so sad for you! I don't know what to say except, I am so very sorry you and your family are having to go through this. Hopefully it will be resolved quickly. I'll be thinking of you and will keep checking back at your site to see how things are coming a long.

    Keely in California

  11. I am so sorry! I hope you hear something immediately!

  12. Hi Christy,

    There was another family that had this situation last September. They had to wait until the next batch the following month. Strangely, her name was "Miya". Here is the link. See the archives for August and September:
    I can't imagine how difficult this must be. So sorry.

  13. Sorry to hear your news. Looking forward to hearing how it all works out.

  14. Hi Christy,

    Hang in there! I hope you get to see Mia's smiling face soon.


  15. Hi Christy,
    You don't know me, I just found your blog, and I am so disapointed for you and your family. I can not even IMAGINE after all that waiting what it would feel like to have this error happen....I will tell you, though, that next month (or sooner if they figure out the mistake) when you see your daughter (or sons) face, and even more when you are in China and holding them in your arms, the wait, while not forgotten, will somehow melt away....honest....

  16. for what it's worth:
    I'm thinking of you and I'm hoping you will get your baby soon.
    my God, how terrible you must feel!!! :o)

    best wishes,
    Hanneke from Holland
    (you don't know me, I just found your blog via RQ)

  17. Christy,

    I am thinking of you and your family and praying for you. I am SO sorry this happened. It is all of our worst nightmare throughout the process. I will not try to cheer you up. I know your happiness will come but you have every right to feel angry and frustrated now. I would too. I am here if you need me. E-mail me and we can talk (that's the counselor in me).


  18. I am sorry to hear that. I hope you get an answer that is satisfactory.

    Keep smilin!

  19. I am so sorry that this has happened.

    Will be thinking of you and hope that everything gets resolved soon.

  20. Christy, I read you news, and I am so sad for you and your family. I am sure they will find your missing referral soon.

    Big hugs to you, especially today on your birthday.

  21. Oh, my heart goes out to you!!!

    No, you're not playing the victim at all. You are upset, disappointed, and have every right to be angry when there seems no rhyme or reason to it.

    Here's hoping you are able to get that referral VERY soon!

    (A loyal subject to the RQ - LID 1/12/06)

  22. I'm so sorry about this -- I hope they fix this situation in the next day or two --
    we're all thinking of you!