Many of you are probably saying-- oh it cant be that bad. Your are correct. If you don't mind crying for just about everything that does not go an independent 3 year olds way, then your right, its not so bad. BUT, if you want to take your own eyes out with a spoon to escape the torture of that same independent 3 year olds incessant non stop whining and fussing and all out crying-- then IT IS THAT BAD!!!!!
I really don't know what to say other than she is just driving us all nuts. She is soooooooooo independent and likes things to go her way and when they don't, you better watch out. She just goes on and on to the point we just ignore her most of the time. We cant stand the crying. I would say, out of 10 car rides in the van with the whole family, 6 out of the 10 car rides are with Mia screaming. It may have been that her brother just reached over her to shut the door and Mia wanted to shut it herself. Or it may have been that we did not happen to start the movie fast enough for her. Or it may have been that I told her she could not have a piece of gum. Whatever the case, the response from Mia is either fussing that escalates into crying or crying that continues on forever. Its all the time and just driving us nuts.
So, I need some help. I'm just not use to this. My boys were not criers and never tantrumed. They were difficult in other ways. So I'm just not use to this. I know it is pretty normal (although I think Mia is more of a pain in the bum than other 3 year olds Ive seen because of her stubborn independent nature) but it just rubs me the wrong way- Kevin too. So, in our desperation we just ignore her and let her tantrum. So, here is my question, do we just let her go on forever crying and throwing a fit or do we make her stop? I do both. Weather permitting, sometimes I will put her outside in the backyard until she is done crying and the threat of that sometimes stops her but not always. I remember my dad forcing me to stop crying (being the perfect child I was-- NOT!!!) and telling me to stop or I would get more significant consequences. Not sure if that worked or not, but I remember him not allowing me to just continue crying forever. Literally, sometimes Mia will go on for 45 minutes screaming crying the whole time over something as simple as I would not let her have a snack. She is not like that for my mother in law that watches her once a week and is not like that when we have babysitters or when she is at preschool-- just for mom and dad-- lucky us!! I need advice because I don't want her in therapy 20 years from now trying to get over the trauma we horrible parents caused her, but I don't want to encourage the poor behavior either. We are not indulgent parents. We do not give her everything she wants and we do not hover over her in an effort to protect her from everything. We are firm believers in learning from mistakes and we allow her to do so. She is not coddled in anyway so we do not encourage the behavior by giving her attention when she acts poorly. But at this point we are not sure what we are doing works and we are open to any suggestions because were lost.
So, help please!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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