We are going through a book in our Sunday School class right now called WEIRD: Because normal isn't working by Craig Grocel. It is a book about how we work so hard at being "normal" in our lives but because of this we are missing out on the joys of being "weird for Christ".
Im only on the 3rd chapter but it is really convicting me. It starts talking about how Craig (the author) was a normal frat boy in college until a girl he knew died suddenly in a car accident and it forced him to look at his life and ask the big question. He started a frat bible study which lead to his salvation and he eventually became a pastor. He talks about how normal in the US is being overworked, over scheduled, over committed, no time and stressed which caused our relationships to be shallow and to deteriorate, our health wanes and our family suffers. He talks about how our joy is gone in an attempt to be "normal". This applies to our time, our money, our relationships and many other things in our lives.
It is so darn true especially with the time factor for us. We all feel like we have to have our kids in all the sports and extra curricular activities because God forbid we are the one parent who does not give our kid every opportunity known to man. We feel pressure to make sure our kids are enriched and our families suffer because of it. I was so darn convicted in this one. The boys are so busy with sports that we are running from place to place all the time. Besides working, I drive an obscene amount of miles everyday carting kids from place to place. It is so exhausting and I find myself ragged and ticked off much of the time. I hate being like that. The joy is gone. Sure, there is joy here and there, but on a normal day, it is not joyful AT ALL! It is stressful and busy and crazy and we choose to do this almost on a daily basis. When we finally have an evening where we dont have to go anywhere, it is like a treasure where we can take a deep breath.
The book talks about this being true with finances too. We lived that life for a long time but happily with our commitment to Dave Ramsey's program and Financial Peace, we now are pretty squared away in this area but before we were in the never ending pursuit of more and more and more. We wanted the best and needed a toy for just about everything. We were buried in debt and sinking day by day. Much of this was in an attempt to be able to do a lot of the things our friends were doing to be "normal" in our circles. This attempt to be normal was not worth it-- everyone has an RV-- everyone has toys-- everyone has nice cars-- but we did not need any of those things but got them anyway. So, we decided to be weird and to give most of those things back to the bank and start living on a tight budget and paying cash for 100% of things. I will tell you this-- being weird financially is the best decision we ever made-- I finally for the first time in my life fee l financial peace and it feels amazing!!!
So, why cant I take the weird part of having financial peace and apply it to the time element in my life. God wants us to be fulfilled and if I can be weird in our fiances, why cant I be weird with time too? Why cant I just do the minimal so our lives are simple. Why do I feel like Im a bad mom if I dont give my kids every opportunity? I dont know. Im not sure why I am always consumed with guilt but I am. I am needing to de-clutter my life and stop the insanity of my schedule. I need to say "OR" rather than "AND". So I can work the snack bar at Ethan's game OR go to that meeting they asked me to attend OR take the boys and their friends to wherever. I need to use OR rather than AND. If I can pick and choose my activities then life will be so much more simple and I wont feel so overwhelmed and our relationships will be maximized.
I know I am kind of rambling but this is really on my mind right now. I am going to take some active steps but have not figured out which ones yet. I will keep you informed but for now, Im contemplating all this stuff and wanted to mull it through here. Thanks for listening.
Friday, September 7, 2012
WEIRD: Because normal isn't working
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Christy, this post could not have come at a better time...thank you!! i actually just referred back to your blog earlier b/c i am trying desperately to get our finances in order and I remember reading how you were doing the dave ramsey plan. i hear everything you were saying! unfotunately the "normal" in our society is far cry from where Christ wants us to be. i look forward to future posts on how this all works out for you! blessings, jeannine
ReplyDeleteLove, love, love this post! It is so true. Sometimes we need to be still and listen to what God we REALLY need to be doing and not what other want or expect of us. Thanks you for sharing your thoughts. You go girl!
ReplyDeleteLisa R
Great post, Christy! I'm going to have to check out that book! Hope you all are adjusting well! Wish we could've met in China!
ReplyDeleteChristy, my husband and I have used the Dave Ramsey plan for about 5 yrs now. Amazing how the freedom from debt can make your life so simple and so wonderful. We pay cash for everything and say "no" alot. We are one family that does not overschedule. We focus on academics, one sport per kid during the school yr and only if grades stay up. We do not do travel club sports at all and have family game night once a week (with real board games) and family movie night every Saturday night. We all sleep in the living room like a camp out and watch movies, popcorn etc. Our kids love this weekly routine. We work hard (both of us full time)and live simple but life is good! Sharon (in NC)
ReplyDeleteWOW!!! Sharon, I sooooooo want to do what you are talking about. You are living the life kev and I want to live. We want to slow down, play games and relax and not be on the go so much. Its hard when our boys are so busy but we need to stop it! I admire the way you have chosen to live your life-- very cool! Im going to talk to kev about a game night-- I think that would be fun and we so never play games so super great idea!!!!
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ReplyDeleteI'm happy to hear the Dave Ramsey thing is changing things for the better. We have also been doing it for 3-4 years at least. Except for the house, we've been debt free for those few years...and the house will be paid off in about 3 years. I could pay it off now, but I wouldn't have an 8 month emergency fund! My 13yo's college fund is nearly complete thanks to some stock options. Almost time to start on the 5yo's. And our charitable contributions continue to increase - we've nearly tripled what we give to charity in the last three years...and still have a long way to go. We also try to enjoy fun time with games, etc. On the weekends we go out for some fun. We're doing a big trip to Disney in a few weeks - and it's already paid for. Christmas shopping is saved for. I mean...I've never slept so soundly knowing I don't have to worry about this stuff.
ReplyDeleteOn top of their weekly piano lessons, the girls get to pick one other activity for the weekly schedule - dance for one, gymnastics for the other. We eat dinner together every night (my one rule). And after dinner - no electronics during the week. No TV, no iPads, no cell phones, no computer (unless for homework) and no video games. Amazing how much time we found for reading, playing games, doing crafts, etc.
WOW Di!!! Thats amazing. First, I have to absolutly agree with the peaceful sleep at night. Dave has changed everything. We are almost done with all our debt and I cant wait to move through the steps. I cant belive how wonderful I feel with knowing that part of our life is taken care of. It sounds like it has been amazing for your family-- so awesome and I wish more people would do it-- it has changed our lives.
DeleteWith regards to the activity-- it is so hard for us with the boys and their activities. They dictate everything. Like tonight we have a football game about 45min from our house and tomorrow we have an ice hockey game in Aneheim-- 45 from our house too. We make it a family thing so we are all together but it just feels like we are always gone. Would love to implement a game night. I love your no tv or electronics rule. That would be a hard sell with a 14 and 12 year old but Im going to suggest it to kevin.
Thanks for the input!
Yes, the no electronics thing is a tough sell. We started in when my now 13yo daughter was 9 or 10. We found that she was rushing thru homework at night just to watch Hannah Montana - and usually an episode that she had already seen a dozen times. So, the next school year we started it. She goes to church camp the last two weeks of Aug, so that "detox" from electronics helped. Of course, now Sophie (just turned 6) likes to watch too and play wtih the iPods, etc. But it's only four nights a week - they can turn tv on when they get home Fri afternoon and watch all weekend if they want until Sunday evening around 7...then it goes back off. Of course, hubby and I turn it on after they are in bed at night! But it does help keep the focus on homework or other activities...
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