Amy's Farm

We have our wonderful Lucky Mommas group and we had planned a date at my brother and sister in laws farm. They live on the farm but it is a working calf ranch and they do field trips. They are also heavily involved in the Community Supported Agriculture (CSA). Check out the farm at www.amysfarm.com. Sadly, at the last minute a few of our moms had to cancel but Georgie, Gracie and mommies all were able to come.

Mia checking out the cows

Georgie and Mia

Smile

Part of the tour the kids are able to go through their CSA garden and pick some of the edible veggies and eat them. They also get to pick some veggies to give to the animals.

Not sure the plant-- but standing next to some edible something

If anyone knows farms, they know there are little animals everywhere and cats make up many of the friendly little ones. Mia ran after every kitten she saw and at the end, we saw that another cat gave birth to 4 new kittens just a couple days before. Kitty Cats everywhere!!!

Gracie and Mia checking out the kitten

Lots of goats-- the girls loved them

These goats were really friendly and nice to the kids

Georgie loved the goats

Feeding Wilbur lettuce we picked from the garden

Feeding Tina the Cow a carrot

More Kittens

This is a mini horse and she is blind so she likes her hair brushed by the tour kids

We even got to milk a cow and drink the milk

The girls at the end of their fun farm tour!!!!

Help Please

I am horrified to even be having to deal with this, but Mia has completely reverted from potty training. She literally has not pooped in the toilet in weeks and then the rare occasion before that. She would just do her deed in her nighttime diaper or would just poop her pants. It is not getting better and she is now 3 and a half. She is doing it with more frequency and she is even peeing her pants all the time now as well. Today alone, she has pooped her pants 2 times and some ended up on her rug in her room and she walked around with it on her shoe all over the house-- lovely. She just now peed her pants all over the couch. I just don't get it. She was totally potty trained for a long time but over the last number of months she has just lost everything. I'm clueless to why. The only thing I can think that has changed over the last few months but I don't know if it has anything to do with her issues, but she gave up her nap about 3 or 4 months ago. Again, not sure if that is associated, but its all I can think that has changed.

The sad part of this is Mia will hide her poopy undies and attempt to totally clean herself using 50+ wipes and then go to great lengths to hide and throw everything away. Right when I just got home from the store just now Kevin was pulling her off the wet couch and she was running into the bathroom and locks herself in there. Then, just now, I saw her run out of the bathroom and then bolt upstairs - probably to change from her wet clothes. It does not seem like she enjoys doing this but she does-- all the time. I just am lost and I feel soooo bad that I am angry with her so much of the time. What is going on? Kevin thinks we should just put her back in diapers but I feel like that is just giving up and conceding. I hate that idea but at this point she pees or poops almost everything she wears, so we have to do something.

PLEASE HELP!!! I welcome any ideas or suggestions. I really do need some help here because I am spent and pissed and completely clueless on what to do. HELP!!!!

Natural Parents??? Not ME!!

I am posting this reply to a blog post I read last night partially because the blog author is so amazingly real and honest and she resonates with me. But I am also posting this because I am also a real person and I do not like fake pretenses. In the blog world we see what we want everyone to see so often we put out what makes us look good and people do not get a picture of what life is really like. I am guilty of that. Who wants to read about how much your life sucks. NO ONE! People want the happy, nice, sweet pictures where we are all happy—whose going to read about our problems. Well, that is not reality and we all have our tough days and tough weeks and tough months. We all are human and while there are some out there that are amazing parents and never get mad and yell at their kids—I am not one of them. I get upset and mad and yell—often. I am human- completely and totally flawed human. So, when I read the post from Christie explaining her lack of natural parenting, I had to respond.

Please go here to read Christie’s post because it is amazing to get some background, but here is my reply to her post. It is honest and real and it is genuinely how I have felt for the last 12 years. I have learned to deal with much of this and am not as desperate as it may sound, but my demons have always been telling me I am a terrible parent. Some days I believe them and other days I know they are wrong- but I still struggle with this. Anyway, read on and please check out Christie’s post first.

Written as a reply at 11pm Thursday April 22, 2010

Reading your last 2 posts was like I literally was writing it myself-- except you’re a much better writer. I have never felt like parenting was my thing. I was like you- didn’t babysit, never held others kids, didn’t really like kids but we did the baby thing because it was what we do as married couples--right?? And the boys came easily with little effort. At one point I found myself with 2 little boys that were just like your little one- all boy- one almost TWO and a newborn. I remember crying my eyes out not out of post partum but out of feeling like I suck as a parent. I am not one of those relaxed and easy going (I am easy going but more out of laziness than wanting to be a good parent) parents who make parenting look easy. I am on the go mostly out of not wanting to have to deal with the kids at home. I find it easier to run around and do stuff than to sit at home and have to deal with them. I have never been a natural and am still not. Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids will everything in me but I find parenting hard and Mia with her tantrums right now are KILLING ME!!!!! I am literally sick of her 10 minutes after she wakes up and then I am just tolerating her for the rest of the day.

I just feel like I tolerate my kids much of the time. I don’t have that joy so many parents feel. I have joy at times and I think my kids are amazing but I do not have that wonderful “JOY” of parenting. I find many things annoying rather than cute. Things get under my skin and I tolerate little. I feel like a slave driver constantly yelling at my boys ordering them around. I just have never felt like a natural and as they grow older you get a whole new set of annoyances to deal with. I totally get you right now. I have felt like an inadequate mom since the boys were babies. I have always thought I was not meant to be a mom but I did it because I was supposed to. With that said, I love my kids and would NEVER go back and choose not to have had them or adopted Mia. I think they are amazing kids and are bound for greatness but I still to this day feel inadequate. Really, after 12 years of parenting, I still feel like I suck at this.

I have learned to deal with my feelings of inadequacy and think it is more of my issue than the fact that I am screwing up my kids like I use to think. I have had to get ok with the fact that I am really not a bad mom, I am a different mom. I am not the happy coddling cooing mom who just dotes on her kids and loves their snotty little noses. I will NEVER be that mom. But I am a mom who gives her kids all kinds of experiences and am always up for whatever. I can be fun and my kids feel like they can confide in me (not like their best friend—not at all- just an open relationship where they feel like they can talk to me) and I am defiantly a mom who forces my kids to have a work ethic and who expects them to be responsible children. I am also a mom who allows them to be independent and learn from their mistakes- no coddling from me! I will let them fall on their face if it means they will learn a valuable lesson. With all that, I have learned I am not a bad mom, just a different mom. Believe me, the voices in my head still tell me I suck at this and when I see those amazing calm and cool loving parents, my suspicions are confirmed once again-- but I have learned those are just my demons telling me that. I am a good but different type of mom and I am not screwing my kids up rather I am providing them with a unique loving home with consistency and independence.

So, what you are feeling is normal and believe me, there are many of us out there. We really are not natural parents but we can learn and we can get good at it. We may never feel like those naturals out there, but we can get good and our kids will turn out GREAT!!!! Frankly, some of those natural moms create little dependant wimps who cant play without mommy hovering-- not my cup of tea. So, which is better--hmmmmmmm--- lots to think about!!


Christy

Division CHAMPIONS!!!!!!

I'm so proud of my boys. They are such amazing hockey players and their team was the underdogs in the final playoffs and tonight they took the playoffs!!! WHOOOOOHOOOOO!!!! I am just so proud of them and how hard they fought. It was an amazing game- like really amazing and I have never seen such a hard fight. They fought to the end and in the end they were VICTORIOUS!!!!

This was the number one B division team!!!! Good job kids-- you guys ROCK!!!!

Getting their individual first place metals

The team with the coaches. On the far right is Coach Bob who has been the boys coach for a while and he is an amazing coach. Next to him are the assistant coaches which obviously Kevin was one of them. Great season!!!! We now have 2 weeks off and then the next season begins!!!

Disney on Spring Break

Our spring break was a couple weeks after our neighborhood schools break therefore there was not a lot of activity around so we had to head out to make our own. Of course, one of the many activities we did was a wonderful trip to Disneyland with our good pals who also attend the same school.

Mia and I hung out while Lia took the older kids on a few big kids rides

My pretty girl

Ethan, Owen, Judah and Sammy


Best buds! It is so great that the two of these boys are such good pals. Owen has never really had a best friend and we are so happy Judah and him have formed that friendship.

Getting on the Screamer

Ethan and Sammy getting ready

Mia on Toy Story Ride

Maddie and Mia chilling

It was a great day!!

Ethan's First Dance

Ethan had his first Junior High Dance last week and it was a new and great experience. He had a blast with a bunch of his boy pals and he looked handsome as can be in his cool dress up outfit. We met 3 of his great pals at one of their houses and took pictures then the limo took them to the dance. This dance was totally a big deal at their school!!! We love their school for all these cool things and extracurricular things they get to do. Not only does Owen get to take a field trip every month but the Junior Highers get to learn Swing Dancing in PE and practice it at the dance. We love UCA!!!!

Our handsome boys-- Ethan, Jared, Sammy and Zach

They thought they were soooooo cooooool!!!!

Out by the pool showing their amazing strength--haha!!

So cute!

Of course I made him do the mommy and me picture!!

Another one!!

Dad, Ethan and Mom

Two of my three handsome men!

Looking cool by the limo

Awwwww!!! The light was off so I turned it sepia

Such good friends

Ethan and Sammy inside the limo

Jared and Zach inside the limo

The boys posing with the kids at their table. We were able to walk the kids in and take pictures but then we had to leave. We were not allowed to stay at all-- parents not allowed. The kids loved that part.

Sammy is in 7th grade so he had to sit with the 7th graders but here are out pals from 6th grade that Ethan sat with-- Matthew, Jared and Zach

The boys had a blast. What a fun dance!!!

More Easter

More Easter for your viewing pleasure!!! My brother and sister in law have a farm that they do farm tours for schools and they also have a CSA farming program where the community helps with the farming and they get fresh produce-- awesome place-- check it out at www.amysfarm.com. Anyway, they do a big egg hunt every year and these first pictures are from the hunt.

Mia getting ready for the big hunt

Savannah and Mia cleaning up

Mia and Savannah (my brothers youngest child) are 7 months apart and great pals. They are so cute together!

Mia checking out the cows

Mia checking out the horse who was pregnant and by the way, my boys spent the night this week at the farm with his cousins (spring break) and they got to see this horse give birth-- literally the whole thing of the baby coming out and everything. They were sooooo tripped out but thought it was totally cool. The baby colt is adorable!!

Our Lucky Mommies group had an Easter party at Gracie's house this year. It was a great time full of playing, a hunt and food!! It was a blast and we so appreciated Tanya for throwing a great party!

Mia playing on the play set

Twerp

Having tons of fun!!

Loving the slide

Eating lunch with all the kids-- they have so much fun together!

The hunt!!

Georgie in her adorable Easter outfit hunting for eggs

Becky and Gracie checking out their loot

The group posing for the pictures. From left to right- Ryan, Gracie, Becky, Katie, Megan, Kaylee and Mia. Georgie was not quite into the pics but she was there too.

Becky, Katie and Megan

Beautiful Georgie

Beautiful Gracie

Gracie and Becky checking sharing their stuff

Mia and Georgie hanging out laughing. Really they were. They were whispering in each others ears and laughing. It was so cute. We live a couple mile from Georgie and they both go to the same preschool/ day care so they are great pals.

Lots more pictures to post over the next few days. We have Ethan's first school dance and Disneyland yesterday. We are also heading to Arrowhead today and were going to snowboard tomorrow so I should have some good pictures from that too.

Have a great weekend.