4-0

Turning 40 this year has been an interesting endeavor. It has been a realization on many aspects of my life. I don't think I intended on turning 40 and doing a lot of self analysis but I have and I think it's a good thing. I've looked over where my life is spiritually emotionally, financially as well as many other aspects and I have really been motivated and convicted to do things differently. I think this is part of turning 40 that many people go through, be it a midlife crisis or whatever, but it is something I think is valuable for most of us to look at halfway through our lives. There are many aspects of my life that I'm very satisfied with and continuing to grow such as my career. Feel very comfortable in my career and where that is going and I think it is in a good place. There are also other aspects of my life that I feel need some major growth and an example of that would be my interaction with my kids and the time element I discussed in the last post. All of those areas need growth and I feel devoting time towards solutions at this point in my life will be exceptionally positive. One area that I like to ignore that has been really pushing me at this point in my life, especially after turning 40, is dealing with my health.

As many of you know I had melanoma last year and have continued you have to be monitored and have had many more pre melanoma issues that I've had to deal with. As of date I have had something like 50 pre-melanoma spot laser off. I know that is scary but it doesn't bother me that much but it does remind me I need to pay attention to my health. In general my health seems to be something that I have never addressed nor have I done anything about. I have never really been sick and I've never had any major scares besides the melanoma and I just always been a pretty darn healthy person. But turning 40 has really made me think that there are some issues that I need to address. As healthy as I have always been I have absolutely never worked out. I have tried for very short periods of time here and there throughout my life but pretty much throughout my whole adult life I have never worked out on any sort of a consistent basis. My work out usually consists of taking care of the kids and occasionally feeling guilty enough to get out and go on a walk but that is about it. Turning 40 has made me look at this part of my life. Everyone says your metabolism slows down when you turn 40 and frankly that scares me because I like to eat Secondly it scares me that I am just going to continue to put on a few pounds a year and eventually become an unhealthy chubby mom that looks her age and frankly that is not something I'm interested in. Because of this fear and because I have no interest in looking my age although maybe I do and I'm just ignorant but I have decided over the last two months to implement a workout regimen.

Midsummer I started fearing the reality of becoming the Chubby mom I do not want to be and I decided to start looking into working out. My brother and many friends that I have have done P90 X and they seem to have really liked it although it is a very intensive and very difficult to stay with. I thought, "man I need to do this." Of course the second I decide I want to do this all the thoughts of I'll never stick with it come into my head and why bother starting because you know you're just going to quit came over my mind and I questioned if I should even think about doing this. I finally decided to go ahead and give it a try. I found the program for super cheap and was willing to buy it and just see if I was able to stick with it but remember historically I'm horrible at that and never stick with any sort of exercise regimen for more than no week. Well I began the program and started trying to just eat okay. I was trying to do the low-carb thing and that works to an extent
But I'm not the type person that can deprive myself of things for very long or I'll just quit the diet altogether. So in general I was working out and trying to eat better. Sounded like a good plan. The question is what I stick with it.

I started during summer and the way to P90 X works is it is three weeks of intensive workout six days a week well over an hour each workout and then rest week where you are doing less intensive workouts but they are still every day and at least an hour. You then go into another three weeks with a rest week and another three weeks and a rest week hence the reason it is called P90X for the 90 day program. It started out pretty hard especially since all three girls decided they wanted to workout with me and every time I tried to go down to do anything on the ground they will pretty much jumped on top of me but somehow I managed to stick with it even over our vacation which was a shocker for me. One week turned into two weeks and two weeks turned in three and so on and shockingly, I have stuck with it for the last eight weeks. I have not been perfect on the diet by any means and recently not doing that well at all but in general I always tend to eat pretty well eating many veggies etc. but I have stuck with the diet to an extent and things are really changing.

I totally feel more in shape and believe it or not my saggy body is actually toning up a little bit. I think I've lost some weight -not a ton - but some and that feels really good. It's just a trip that I stuck with it this long and it's been even more of a trip since school has started I have to work out at 5:15 in the morning which is absolutely my most un -favorite time of day to be awake. But, I have been diligent with it and I see the results paying off and honestly I don't want to stop because I like the way I feel. The physical results are great but the tiredness just is not there nearly as much as it would be if I was waking up that early and working all day and coming home and dealing with the kids and then going to bed. I am forcing myself to go to bed no later than 10 PM and it really feels good waking up at 5:15 and having that alone time to work out and just think about things. I use the time to pray and ponder and really just work out. Never in my life what I have expected to enjoy waking up that early but for some reason it seems to have stuck. Maybe it's the realization of being 40 and the fear of becoming that mom that gains 10 pounds every year and eventually is 50 pounds overweight or maybe it's just the fact that I feel good about myself. What ever the reason, I am thrilled by the fact that I have stuck with it for eight weeks and am completely committed to continuing this not only throughout the next four weeks to finish up the 90 days but to continue on with it for much longer. I have never in my life been able to stick with something like this and while the eating may not be perfect the working out sure feels good and that alone is motivation for me to continue.

I think at the age of 40 I'm trying to find balance. Trying to find balance between being busy or not so busy - trying to find balance between my health - trying to find balance between my relationships - trying to find balance in all aspects of my life. I think turning the big 4-0 has caused some really good analysis that I think I am trying to act on and it's a good thing.